I Didn't Mean to Find You
by stellapurple219
Summary: Phil was just a regular 26 year old man living in London when on a chance encounter he ran into Dan Howell. As they get to know each other better, they go on an adventure together and slowly begin to discover what it means to love. Semi-AU phan, rated T for occasional language, but that might change later.
1. A Chance Encounter

**A/N: Hello! This is sort of semi-AU, I guess. I don't think this has been done before, so I hope you enjoy it! Be sure to leave a review if you have any feedback, positive or negative, I want to hear it all ^.^**

**I also don't really know whether I should continue this or not, so if you think I should/shouldn't continue it then please let me know in a review :)**

****Okay I wasn't planning on including Chris, he just sort of appeared conveniently... Whatever, I'll let you get on with the actual story now.**

* * *

My name is Phil Lester, and I have no idea where I'm going. I'm a 26 year old single man who lives alone in London. I have a uni degree, but I still don't know what I want to do with my life - which is probably why I'm here, working at a clothing store in the CBD.

Life isn't all too exciting in this job; it mainly consists of showing customers where to find items, putting away the many, many wrongly-put-back discarded garments. Sometimes customers will ask for my advice or opinion, but that's pretty much it. At least I have a couple of friends here - my coworkers and I spent a lot of time chatting because of the boredom that being a Sales Assistant entails. There was one guy, Chris, who I'd become especially close to.

Speaking of Chris, I could see him walking towards me like he needed something important.

"Is everything okay?" I asked him, snapping out of my daydream.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, um... this is really awkward but there's a guy in the dressing rooms who's trying on jeans and he was needing help can you please go and help him?" He said in a rushed breath, pausing for a moment and then adding "I _really_ need the bathroom!"

"Sure," I answered, already starting to walk over to the rooms, laughing inaudibly at my friend.

Although it was a big store in the city, it was nearing closing time and it was a weekday so luckily it wasn't too busy. I was easily able to guess which dressing room was occupied by the guy in question; only two of the doors were shut and I could hear children's laughter emerging from one.

After a minute or so, the door opened and out stepped a man who looked about my age, if not a little bit younger.

"What do you think of these ones? I can't decide whether or not they're too tight." He mused.

I took a proper look at the way the jeans closely hugged his legs, and his ass... I knew I was supposed to be on the job, but _holy shit this guy was attractive_. I felt a slight blush begin to colour my cheeks as I realised that I was pretty much just standing there checking him out - and had suddenly found myself incapable of forming words. As much as I tried, I simply couldn't tear my eyes away from his figure.

"Oh! You're not... I mean... did you switch or something?" He puzzled, looking up at me for the first time.

"Oh, yes, sorry, Chris had to -erm- use the facilities..." I managed to awkwardly stumble out.

When I realised that he'd caught me ogling him I my blush increased and I frantically tried to think of anything other than the not-so-work-appropriate places that my mind was wandering to.

"So, what do you think... Phil?", he read off my name badge, "do you think they're too tight?"

"Well, um, obviously it depends on how much you want to show yourself off I guess... they seem to fit you fine so it's really up to you!"

While I waited for Dan to take off the jeans again, I nervously adjusted my fringe and wondered whether anything was actually going to come of this. There was just something about him that I couldn't place.

"Alright, thanks for your help again, Phil." He emerged, smiling at me. _Wow, he has a nice smile_.

"Okay, I hope you enjoy them... um..."

"Dan."

"Dan."

We both stood smiling at each other, becoming caught in a moment of wishing we didn't have to say goodbye quite so suddenly, yet not wanting to risk actually asking the other to stay.

It was at this point that Chris returned from the bathroom, confidently striding towards us. His gaze flickered between Dan and I, obviously confused.

"Miss much?" He chirped, breaking the thick silence.

"No, uh, Phil was just helping me with these jeans and I think I'm going to buy these ones, so I was about do just that!"

"And you're just going to leave?" Chris responded, not bothering to talk to me.

"..what else would you suggest I do?" Dan asked, genuinely bewildered by this point.

"Well I think getting each other's numbers would be a good start." Chris suggested, surprising the both of us.

I made a mental note to get Chris for that later. I didn't know anything about Dan! What if he had a girlfriend! And even if he didn't, who knows if he was interested - hell, he probably didn't even like guys!

But all of a sudden Dan was laughing awkwardly and handing his phone to me on the 'New Contact' page and I felt my hands taking it and typing in my details before handing it back to him, Chris' smug smile only growing as I narrowed my eyes at him. And then, all too soon, the family were emerging from their dressing room and Chris was going over to help them and Dan was leaving and waving and smiling and_ fuck he looked cute_.

And then he was gone, and I was left standing in the exact same position, my mind trying and failing to process what had just happened.

I only snapped out of my trance when Chris hit me playfully on the back of the head.

"Chris, you can't just do that..." I complained, although I knew it was futile.

"I don't see why not. Judging by the amount of eye-fucking that was going on when I came back, you're both plenty interested. And from what you've told me, he's just your type. You can't honestly try to deny that you liked him now, can you? And what's the worst that could happen? He doesn't contact you, and you never have to see him again? You know I'm right."

I didn't bother responding to Chris, because I knew that I couldn't argue what he said - and besides, I was secretly hoping that maybe this would turn into something.

Maybe something interesting would happen to me for once.

Maybe my life was starting to turn around.


	2. Starbucks and Smiles

**A/N: New chapter! Yay! First of all I just wanted to say a huge thankyou to everyone who favourited, alerted and especially reviewed this story - all of the feedback that I got was positive and people asking me to continue, so thankyou SO, SO much. It really means a lot to me :)**

**This is my first multi-chapter fic, so I don't really have any sort of uploading schedule - I don't think I'm going to make one, I'll just promise that I won't leave too long between updates, and if I'm not going to be updating for a while I'll let you know in advance.**

**It might have been a given, but I just wanted to mention that in this story, Dan and Phil don't have YouTube channels.**

**(I heard that Dan mentioned his favourite bands in his liveshow so I watched it, and turns out that it was literally two minutes before it finished. Grrrrrr.)**

**(Also, sorry, I'll try to keep these shorter in the future.)**

**Happy reading!**

* * *

I knew it was stupid, but I couldn't stop thinking about Dan. It had only been a few days since I'd ran into him, yet over and over again my mind wandered to the mysterious man who had come into the store. I couldn't help but wish that I'd found out more about him - his last name, his age, his job... maybe even gotten his number too. As the situation stood, I knew next to nothing about him - only that he was tall, a little taller than me, had soft brown hair and deep, kind eyes that somehow made me think of home and comfort. And his name was Dan.

Yes, I was definitely worse off in this situation. He had my full name and number - he could be stalking my facebook page this very second! I hated being in the dark like this, being the one who had to wait for him to talk to me. There were several things that I was willing to give up or sacrifice for someone, but control was definitely not among them.

My phone had been painfully silent since giving Dan my number, and though I admittedly checked it far too often, I was always disappointed to see that Dan hadn't texted me. There was just something about him that intrigued me, made me want to know him, to spend time with him. And to make matters worse, he was one of the most attractive people I had seen in a long time.

I sighed to myself and opened up Angry Birds. I'd already beaten every level a number of times, so it was more of a mindless time-passer than entertainment. Then, just as I was least expecting it, a new text came through from an unknown number.

_Hi Phil,_ it read,_ it's Dan from the other day - you remember me, right? I was wondering if you maybe wanted to catch up sometime? Or, you know, it's also cool if you don't... just thought I'd ask._

My heart skipped a beat and a smile involuntarily crept onto my face. Although I'd been hoping against hope that he would contact me, I hadn't actually expected it to happen. Good things like Dan didn't usually happen to people like me.

After re-writing my text at least 10 times, I finally decided to say:

_Hi Dan - of course I remember you - and I'd love to! Maybe we could get a coffee or something? When are you free?_

He responded within the minute.

_That'd be awesome ;) how about this afternoon - if you're not busy, that is_.

I couldn't believe my eyes. Someone actually wanted to go out with me - ME! We decided on a time and place, and I began to get ready for my date - could I call it that? - which took a lot longer than it really should have. Eventually I decided just to wear what I'd usually wear, a checkered shirt and skinny jeans; it _was_ only coffee after all.

* * *

As I walked into Starbucks, I began to get very nervous. What if he didn't like me? What if he had a beautiful girlfriend at home, and he just wanted to be friends? Or worse, what if he stood me up? But I realised that no matter what, I had to throw my whole heart into this and make it the absolute best I could - after all, things like this didn't often happen to people like me.

I scanned the room and couldn't see him anywhere, so I went and stood near the window and shut my eyes, desperately trying to clear my nerves. I was trying to rehearse in my head what I would say to him when I felt a sharp tap on my shoulder, startling me. I opened my eyes, and right in front of me stood Dan - a little closer than would have been normal in such a situation. When he saw my initial expression of surprise and shock, his face blossomed into a laugh. His deep brown eyes lit up and a dimple formed in his cheek - he was gorgeous.

"Hi!"

His closeness was still causing my breath to be slightly ragged, and my mind to be filled with thoughts that definitely were not appropriate for a first-date-that-might-not-actually-be-a-date. I couldn't help but imagine what it would be like to press my lips against his, to run my fingers through his soft hair, to feel his hand entwined with mine.

"Phil, you're not saying anything..."

He said, inches away from my face, feigning concern yet portraying more of a bewildered happiness, the smile still tugging at his features. Suddenly I registered what he'd actually said, and the fact that I was still silently taking in his presence. He somehow reduced the importance of everything else in the coffee shop to, well, not very much.

"Erm... hi Dan! Thanks for coming! Do you want to get coffee or something?" I said, laughing awkwardly and stepping back from him slightly.

"Already done!" He held up two coffees and signaled for me to come and sit down at the couch. "Come, sit."

"Oh, erm, let me pay you back for that..." I stumbled. I had to admit, his forwardness was throwing me off a little - but not necessarily in a bad way. It was a welcome change to the entity of awkwardness that had been my (admittedly very few) failed past relationships.

"Don't be silly, Phil, I'm paying! If I recall correctly, I asked you out, not the other way around. I got us caramel macchiatos, I hope that's okay?" By this point, I was beyond bewildered.

"How did you..." I shook my head in amazement, speaking through my quickly growing smile as it dawned on me that Dan had just called this a date. "Dan, that's my favourite coffee."

"I'm glad - mine too!" He responded. "Now, I don't think we've been properly introduced. My name is Daniel James Howell, I am 21 years old and I recently moved to London after dropping out of law school. It's a long story, but in a nutshell I decided that college really wasn't working out for me. I listen to a lot of music - generally I like most music, but some of my favourite bands are Fall Out Boy, Muse, My Chemical Romance, Slipknot, Radiohead, Panic! At the Disco, yeah... I spend most of my time either playing video games or browsing the internet. I don't really think I'm a very interesting person... but I guess that's me."

"I think we've got a lot in common then! I'm Philip Michael Lester and I'm 26. I've been living alone in London for a few years now, before that I lived in Manchester and before that I was in uni. I don't really know what I'm doing with my life, but I hope that changes sometime in the near future... As you'd know, I work as a Sales Assistant. I really like Buffy, and I guess my music taste and interests are pretty similar to yours."

He nodded approvingly, and a comfortable silence replaced our introductions as we sipped our coffees and took the chance to study each other. Dan was wearing a t-shirt that appeared to be plain black with a dark grey jumper over the top. He was also wearing - wait... was that...

Suddenly I burst into giggles.

"What is it?" Dan exclaimed. "What did I do?" he began checking over himself in worry of some sort of prank.

"It's just..." I said between chuckles, "you're wearing the jeans I sold to you the other day."

"Oh! Yeah.. haha... well I guess I bought them 'cause I liked them, right? And definitely not at all because I may or may not have caught an incredibly good-looking shop assistant admiring the way I looked in them..." he added with a wink, causing me to blush furiously.

Dan gulped as he realised how much he'd just revealed, and suddenly I could see the heart of an awkward and shy kid shining through his confident, flirty persona. Neither of us said anything, and I gazed earnestly into his eyes.

Maybe some of his confidence rubbed off on me, or maybe it was just the moment, but at that point in time I half-whispered, "Do you want to come back to my apartment?", my eyes never leaving his.

"I think I'd like that." He responded equally quietly, and I waited for him to put down the money for the coffees which we suddenly didn't want anymore before getting up and walking out the door, quickly glancing over my shoulder to make sure that he was following.


	3. Don't Tease Me

As I unlocked my apartment door, I felt a strange and unfamiliar sense of security, safety and acceptance. I supposed that in situations like this one, you'd normally be nervous to let someone else see your home, wondering if they liked it, if they would reject it, try to change it, but at that moment all that I could feel was happiness. Neither Dan nor I could manage to remove the grins off our faces - not that it was a problem.

I showed him inside and sat down on the couch. Dan sat down beside me, perhaps a little closer than was normal. His closeness just intensified my desire to kiss him. His lips looked so soft and kissable... but of course I couldn't just sit here staring at him, I had to be a good host.

"What would you like to do? I've got movies, video games, um... internet, food, I have a few board games I guess... actually there's not a lot to do in my apartment." I chuckled, feeling my shyness begin to evaporate in a location I was more comfortable with.

"Actually, the things you just listed probably make up around 90% of my daily activities.. as well as sleep. But I don't think we should do that because being unconscious definitely doesn't make the most interesting, uh, date." He bit his lip adorably, causing me to feel a sudden pang of desire. "Actually, I think I'd prefer it if we just chatted. I don't know what it is, Phil, but there's just something about you that makes me want to get to know you."

"I can feel it too."

We spoke in quiet tones even though there was no danger of anyone hearing us, our conversation interspersed with awkward chuckles and the occasional wink. I spent some time telling Dan about my school and university experience, and what I had and hadn't enjoyed. In return, I got to hear about his. Once we had run out of stories to share, I decided that we should actually do some sort of activity together. Besides, the unbroken eye contact and growing tension in the air was becoming too much for me.

"Alright, Dan. I've got an idea. You get to choose one of my video games, and whoever loses has to do a challenge set to them by the other person." I was really looking forward to this game - I hoped Dan wanted to play, but then I wasn't really giving him much choice. And maybe the idea of 'challenges' was just an excuse to at least have some physical contact with him - to be quite frank, it was driving me crazy.

"Okay!" He said, looking thoughtful. A million ideas were probably running through his head, and I didn't doubt his gaming skills. I didn't mind though, I was up for whatever Dan wanted - that was the whole point of the game. I just hoped that he wanted what I wanted.

"How about this one?" He asked, holding up a Sonic game.

"Awesome!" I replied enthusiastically. Yes, I was going to enjoy this.

After we'd been playing only for a few minutes, I had been beaten. Unfortunately, I'd found that Dan happened to be quite a bit better than me at this particular game.

"So, Phil, now you're at my mercy." He sounded like he had a plan, and he had a mischievous glint in his eye. "For your first challenge, I dare you to eat a raw egg."

This was an unwelcome surprise - I hadn't been expecting Dan to choose something like this... Just imagining it made me repulsed. I considered lying to him and saying that I was all out of eggs, but that wouldn't work - he could just look in the fridge.

"Can.. can I mix it up and drink it out of a cup?" I asked gingerly.

"No," said Dan, "you should stand at the sink, and I'll crack it into your mouth."

I could tell that Dan was teasing me, he _knew_ what I wanted but he was going to blatantly ignore it, even though I was sure he wanted it too. However, a raw egg? I was definitely _not_ looking forward to this. I waited by the sink as Dan approached, egg in hand. He reached me and raised the egg into the air, signalling for me to keep my mouth wide open and tilted upwards. Even though I was about to be bombarded by unpleasant feelings, I couldn't help but notice the way his features were bent in concentration, the focus of his eyes and mind trained on the not-quite-spherical object. I couldn't help but admire his hands, and the way that his fingers held the egg. These all may seem like little things, but if you truly feel for someone then I think even the little things can completely capture your attention and hold your focus.

I squealed as the slimy substance entered my mouth - I'd been too distracted by watching Dan that I'd been caught completely off guard by the egg. And now, my mouth felt violated. The texture of it alone was enough to make me want to spit it out in an instant, and its taste was not much better. Although I almost spat the egg out a number of times, I finally managed to swallow it. Of course, it hadn't helped that during the whole thing Dan had been laughing hysterically at me. Then again, I could never really complain about Dan's laugh, could I?

We'd been playing this game for at least an hour, and I was definitely losing. So far, as well as the egg, I'd had to: drink a teaspoon of vanilla essence, do the cinnamon challenge, attempt a cartwheel, attempt to twerk and sing the alphabet backwards. Dan had only just been beaten by me, and I still had to think of a challenge for him. I was half tempted to tease him as he had done to me, but I didn't have the energy or will to hold back my feelings any longer.

"Kiss me." I whispered.

The thick sexual tension that had been present at Starbucks suddenly returned to the air, and I could sense that this was what Dan wanted, too, he'd just been too cheeky to ask for it.

Dan began to lean towards me, his eyes showing calmness, longing, trust and happiness, and welcomed me into their warmth. He poised his soft, pink lips in a slight pucker and slowly moved forward until all at once, our lips collided. Instantly I was hit with a rush of adrenaline and hormones that made the kiss feel like something that was alive. It felt comforting and perfect and so inexplicably _right_. His lips were soft against mine as he gently kissed me. It wasn't rushed or needy, it was slow, beautiful and more than I could have ever imagined a kiss to be. During that kiss, I felt a deep connection with Dan that I haven't felt before which could only be described as the blossoms of love.

Eventually, due to the natural human need to breathe, we reluctantly pulled away from each other. Still only centimeters from the other's faces, our eyes spoke a language that said more than we could ever say with words. He reached out his hand and I took it gently, never breaking eye contact, that one point of contact binding us together.

"Can you stay here?" I breathed, only half talking to Dan.

"As long as you'll let me."

"Forever please."

* * *

**A/N: I think that these work better at the end, so yeah. **

**I just wanted to again thank everyone that reviewed, I know people say it a lot but really, every positive review that I get brings a huge smile to my face :)**

**If you got that reference at the end then sorry for changing the words a bit... also just sorry for using it if you didn't think I should've... it just fit really well...**

**Also the description of the raw-egg-consumption is based on a personal experience. I won't go into details.**


	4. My Heart is Filled With You

**Hey there, if you like that sort of thing, then have a listen to this song while you read this chapter: youtube watch?v=PLFbvaN310c (sorry, add the dot com slash after the youtube and remove the space, fanfiction dislikes me adding links).**

* * *

It had now been a few weeks since my first date with Dan, and everything was going better than I could have hoped. He was the shining light in my life, the source of most of my happiness and luckily, wonderfully, _amazingly_, I seemed to also cause that happiness within him. He made me laugh like I hadn't done for years, and he put a huge grin on my face that I could never seem to wipe off. We'd been spending more and more of our time together; we'd been to both apartments but he preferred mine.

We had grown incredibly close in what felt like forever and yet also like no time at all. We'd discovered that we had a lot in common, and were forming an inseparable relationship. He was like my best friend, but it was a friendship that was constantly interspersed with soft kisses and snuggles on the couch and surprise hug attacks. We hadn't put any labels on what we were, partly because we felt confident enough in each other, and partly because the word _boyfriend_ sounded scary and adult - something that I hadn't fully grown into yet, and I could sense that Dan felt the same.

Every one of Dan's kisses caused a burst of electricity to run through my veins, and every hug and slightly-longer-than-normal glance caused my heart to beat a little faster. I couldn't help but smile to myself whenever I thought about him, and had been caught out at least once or twice at work zoning out into the perfect world of Daniel James Howell. Even Chris had commented on how much happier I'd been looking - and of course he wanted to know all of the details.

"Hey, Phil." I started as the sound of Dan's voice cut through the daydream that I'd unconsciously slipped into again.

"Yeah, Dan?"

"What are you thinking about? You were smiling to yourself." He held a slightly amused and unimpressed expression, but his eyes were filled with adoration.

"Well... I was thinking about you. About us. About how these past few weeks have been some of the happiest ones of my life. How special and amazing you make me feel." I got up from my seat on my couch and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head against the front of his shoulder, and my voice lowered slightly in volume as I breathed in his scent. "How when I'm around you, it feels like everything bad could just disappear. How when you're holding me I feel like nothing can hurt me." Dan wrapped his arms around me in return and I could feel him smile into my hair. "You're the best thing that happened to me, you know."

We just stood there, holding each other for what felt like hours. His arms held me securely, like I _mattered_. Our bodies fit perfectly together; as if we were made as two halves of a whole just waiting to find each other. Slowly he lifted his head from the embrace and gently held my face between his hands. Inch by inch, he brought us closer together and eventually he softly pressed his lips against mine, sending tingles up my spine as he did every time. He kissed me slowly and gently, and I was again reminded of another perfect thing about Daniel Howell. After a short while he pulled away, biting his lip (in the most unintentionally seductive way possible) and his face shifted into smile of pure bliss and contentment, mirroring exactly what I could feel my own face doing.

"Come on, I want to take you to dinner." he half-questioned, half-told me. "Why don't you go and put on a nice shirt so that I can just think about taking it off the entire night."

I let out a small chuckle, letting my tongue slip out of the corner of my mouth, and wondered for the hundredth time how Dan managed to be romantic and funny at the same time.

"Only if you return the favour." I responded, quickly pecking his forehead before untangling myself from his embrace and trotting away to put on something acceptable for a night out. A _date_.

It was strange, really. Usually I needed to have control of a situation, and became frustrated or impatient if I didn't know what was happening when. Yet, with Dan, I was perfectly happy to let him lead me and to be spontaneous and fun. Yes, I was happy for Dan to take control sometimes, and he was slowly chipping away at the wall that I'd automatically built up around myself after years of being misunderstood.

When I had finished getting ready, I emerged from my bedroom to find Dan already dressed up. I cocked my head and opened my mouth to question him, but he just held up his backpack.

"You really think I didn't plan this, Phil?"

I was still standing there in bewilderment - Dan seemed to do that to me a lot. Yet again, his spontaneity had left me speechless - and strangely enough, I loved it.

* * *

He led me into the restaurant, and the staff seemed to instantly recognise him; with simply a nod from Dan we were shown to a private room where a single table stood, set for two with flowers and candles and a red silk tablecloth.

"Dan, this is..." my voice wavered slightly as I realised how much planning and effort he'd put into this.

"Nice? Special? Romantic?" He suggested, "Now, sit." There was nothing I was currently mentally capable of doing other than following his instructions and simply staring in awe at the man that sat before me.

"Are there menus or something? Don't we need to order?"

"Oh, it's okay, I know what sort of food you like." He assured, still leaving me slightly unsure of what was actually happening.

But sure enough, within a few minutes a waiter brought out two plates and explained to us what we were eating, what the whole meal would entail and of course about the wine.

I let myself become immersed in the comforting, quiet and intimate bubble of the place we were in, and enjoyed the meal with Dan sharing many laughs, jokes and fun moments.

* * *

As our dessert plates were taken away, his aura of confidence and wit again faded for just a second, and he looked nervous, scared even, leaving me once again confused.

"Now, Phil, there's actually a reason I wanted to come here. I really wanted to make tonight as magical as possible, because there's something that I've been wanting to say to you."

I nodded, urging him to go on, confused as to what it might be.

"I'm not good with words like you are and anything I say is just going to come out sounding really stupid and cheesy.. but... the time I've spent with you has made me happier than I thought it was possible to be. You make everything brighter, and I've no longer got any reason to be sad. And, Phil, I just really want you to know...

…I love you."

I smiled uncontrollably as my heart filled with a special kind of warm that it saved for moments like these. Without hesitation, I looked into his eyes and said,

"I love you too. So much."

Not caring that we were in a public place, we stood up from our chairs and pulled each other as close as we could, the grins erupting from our faces, even shedding a few tears of utter happiness. It was all so surreal and perfect - Dan loved me, and I loved him back. We continued to hold each other, and inside that perfect bubble, we intended to do so until the end of eternity.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed! **

**Reviews are chocolate.**


	5. Too Perfect

**This story is mainly in Phil's POV, but here's one chapter from Dan. If I don't say anything at the top like this, just assume it's Phil :)**

* * *

Phil was everything I needed. His cute smile, when he accidentally poked out his tongue, and his bright blue eyes that lit up with excitement and happiness. Seeing him was always the highlight of my day. It somehow seemed incredibly strange that we'd only had a few weeks together, it felt like so much longer. Like I knew every detail about his life, and he knew mine - well, almost. I often laughed to myself at the strange and unexpected way in which we met, my first glimpse of his face forever etched into my memory. It was sometimes hard to believe that this was real. Sometimes I'd fear that I would wake up to discover that he was only a dream, a figment of my imagination. But I didn't. And he was still there. That was almost the hardest part of it to believe, that he'd want to stay with me as much as I wanted to stay with him. Everything was seemingly perfect, which worried me sometimes. It was too perfect.

* * *

_'Goodnight, Dan...' The message from Phil flashed up my screen._

_'But, Phil, I don't want to sleep!'_

_'Why not, silly? It's late!'_

_'Because I know that any dream I have won't be as good as reality. You're amazing, Phil.'_

_'I love you, but you need some sleep. I promise I'll still love you tomorrow.'_

_I thought about arguing that, how could he be so 100% sure? He might wake up and finally realise how much better he could do. But I didn't, because I knew deep in my heart how much he cared._

_'Goodnight xx'_

* * *

Every morning, we'd text each other just to make sure that we were okay. We'd never officially spent the night together yet, apart from that one time when we accidentally fell asleep watching a movie. I'd woken up first with his arms around me, and as much as I loved the feeling I'd decided to quietly untangle myself and leave him to wake up alone. He still doesn't know.

* * *

_"Morning, Phil." He was finally stirring, his captivating blue eyes fluttering open and his gaze settling upon my face._

_"Morning, Dan," he replied sleepily, "I must have fallen asleep on the couch last night. Sorry. Hey, how come you're still here? Did you fall asleep on the chair? I don't remember..." His face crinkled adorably in confusion._

_I smiled secretly to myself before replying, "yeah. That's what must have happened, I guess."_

_"Come here. I want a hug." I could see he was trying to be commanding, but in his still sleepy state he didn't do a very good job of it. But all the same I walked over to him, beginning to rub small circles into his back, because who could say no to a hug from Phil?_

* * *

Everything with Phil felt so easy, so perfect, so simple and so right that I couldn't possibly describe it as anything other than love. Anyone I'd ever asked had dismissed the idea of love at first sight as stupid and implausible, but I only half agreed with them. I didn't believe in love at first sight, persay, but I believed that from the moment you lock eyes with someone you can tell that they're going to be special. Which, more often than not, would gradually grow into love.

* * *

_I stepped out of the dressing room, spinning in a full circle in the jeans that I was about 80% sure I would buy before looking up and noticing that my shop assistant had been replaced by someone else, who seemed altogether far too interested in said jeans. Not that I minded, though. Actually, far from it. Finally he looked up to meet my eyes, the unusual colour of his irises immediately drawing me in._

* * *

Ours was an innocent kind of love. The furthest we'd ever gone was a kiss, and the most skin we'd ever seen was what was normally on display to the world. Of course we had urges, but - at least for now - they were better taken care of on our own, leaving what lay below the layers of clothing to our wild imaginations. Of course sometimes when we shared one of our many kisses, there was nothing I wanted more than to deepen the kiss and knot my fingers through his hair, but I knew that rushing things would only lead to inevitable downfall. And of course my many flirty and slightly suggestive comments were only half-joking, but I still was joking. The last thing I wanted was to destroy something so perfect. Too perfect.

* * *

**A/N: I'm really sorry for the length of this chapter, the structure of it, yeah. I'm not as happy with this one as I am with the others, but I still hope you enjoyed it! There'll be plenty more interesting stuff to come with this story :)**

**Sorry too that this took a bit longer than the other chapters have, I was a bit stuck for ideas but I've got some stuff planned now. I'll make a promise that I won't leave it longer than a week.**

**Also, I want to do some cover art for this story but I couldn't think of a single scene to draw for it so I was just going to do a generic sort of phan-y drawing - but if you've got any other ideas for what the cover should be, please let me know in a review xD**


	6. Dan's Mum

I leaned over and rested my head on Dan's shoulder. It was just another perfect day spent together in my apartment, eating chocolate, watching movies, cuddling all the time. The film we'd been watching was drawing to a close, but then, we weren't really watching it. In response to the contact, Dan draped his arm over me and kissed the top of my head. I giggled at the odd sensation, turning my head to look up into his chocolate brown eyes. I let out another soft giggle before kissing his nose, once, twice, three times. He slowly leant down, and we joined our lips together in a proper kiss. We sat there together, sprinkling kisses on the other, for the duration of the rest of the film - and a little while after.

Much too soon for my liking, Dan sat up. I made a feeble whimper of protest at his abrupt departure from our moment, but he didn't say anything in return.

"Phil, I'm hungry! Let's get food. Have you got food?" I sighed. Typical Dan.

"No, but you can go and buy some. I'm not coming."

"Awww, why don't you wanna come with me? Why do I have to go all alone?"

"Because I don't feel like getting up, much less going to buy food with you. Just go, I'll stay here. You can choose what we get, you know!"

Something in my last statement must have convinced him, because after that he was quickly out the door, calling goodbye and promising his soon return. I settled back into the couch contently, reaching out to grab one of Dan's jumpers to cuddle until I again had the real thing.

After a few minutes, I heard an unfamiliar sound - a ringtone, but it wasn't mine. I looked around in confusion before seeing Dan's phone on the table vibrating, obviously he'd forgotten to take it with him. After a short internal debate, I decided that I should probably answer it and tell whoever was calling that Dan would be back soon. I picked up without looking at the caller ID and spoke into the phone.

"Hi! This is Dan's phone."

"Oh, yes, hello dear! Oh - sorry, you're not Daniel then? Who is this? I'm Daniel's mother, see."

"Oh! Um, hi, Mrs Howell." I definitely wasn't expecting it to be Dan's mum. Who I had been expecting, I was a bit unsure, but not this. "I'm, uh, I'm a friend of his." I said after a moment's decision. "He's just gone out to get some food, but he should be back soon. Would you like me to get him to call you back then?"

"Oh, I'm awfully sorry dear, I don't have much time. But do tell him I called. How's he going?"

"Oh, yeah, pretty well. I think he's been quite happy."

"That's just wonderful! Now, how's Ciara?" Ciara? I was confused. Dam hadn't mentioned any Ciaras to me, and if his mum was asking about her then she must be pretty important, right?

"I'm sorry, Mrs Howell, I don't think I've met this Ciara. Who is she again?"

"He hasn't introduced you? Oh, how silly of him! Why, it's Daniel's girlfriend of course! They've been together for several years now, yes! He hasn't talked to me about a wedding, but I can just feel that he's going to propose to her soon, you know what I mean? Oh, they're really the cutest couple!"

She kept excitedly ranting about whoever the _fuck_ Ciara was, but I could no longer process the words. Frantic thoughts were spinning around in my head as I desperately tried to figure out what I'd missed. Where had I gone wrong? What had I misenterpreted? What had I failed to see?

I realised that I still had Dan's mum on the line, so I hurriedly put it to my ear and said, "I'm sorry, I have to go now, goodbye," trying not to let the pain show in my voice. Before I pressed the button to end the call, she managed to squeeze in a reminder to tell Dan that she'd called.

I threw the phone down on the ground, trying and quickly failing not to let the tears fall. Nothing made sense, how could he do this to me? The puzzle pieces refused to fit together and every moment of happiness that I'd shared with the brown-haired boy crumbled into insignificance. This was why I didn't give people my trust. This was why I didn't let other people take control. I felt like such an idiot for forgetting that. The thought that kept repeating itself around in my head was, _why would he lie to me?_

* * *

A few minutes later, Dan entered the flat, swinging around shopping bags and whistling to himself as if nothing what wrong.

"Phil, I'm back! I got Chinese takeaway, I hope that's alright. You like Chinese, right, Phil? Do you want - oh my gosh, is everything alright!?" His tone suddenly shifted when he saw me. How could he do that? How could he make it seem like he cared about me, when he obviously didn't? "Phil? What happened?"

"Your mum called, she wanted to know how you were." His expression was still as confused asmbefore, he was still so disgustingly oblivious despite the glare filled with betrayal and hurt that I was directing at him.

"And so? Come on, talk to me Phil, I'll stay with you all night if that's how long it takes."

"No, Dan, I wouldn't recommend doing that, see, I personally think it's about time you got home to Ciara."

A wave of realisation hit him, and his expression quickly shifted to one of dismay.

"SHIT!" He cried out. "Um, no, no, no, no! Phil.. no, fuck! Please, just let me explain this to you! I promise this is not what it seems like at all! Shit! I promise I can explain everything!"

His eyes searched mine for forgiveness, for mercy, for patience, but I wasn't feeling any of those things at the moment. I just felt stupid, and taken advantage of. "I think... I think you should go now. I need to be by myself for a bit," I choked out in a tone as calm and emotionless as I could manage. He left without a word, his expression of guilt conveying everything I needed to hear.

* * *

I felt deflated. Lost. Broken. How could I have been so foolish to think that he actually liked me? I thought back to just before he left, how we'd been so blissfully happy - or so I thought - together, in our perfect little bubble. If I hadn't been occupied with crying, I would have laughed out loud at the bitter, mocking irony of it. But then, I should have seen this coming. Because good things like Dan didn't happen to people like me.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry. Don't hate me? I promise to upload soon and all will be revealed. Also, I'm really sorry if anyone's name here is Ciara.**

**Also, review response to Mary - you were on anon and I couldn't respond privately, but yes, of course you can translate this into Russian :D (fair warning thought, it does have quite a bit left in it I think). Just make sure you still credit it to me, and that would be amazing!**

**Also, again, thankyou to everyone for your kind words and positive feedback.**


	7. You Don't Have to Pretend You're Okay

I remembered that day when Dan came over and we baked cookies together. We'd ended up eating most of the chocolate chips before they got to the bowl, and we'd had so much fun making and then eating them together. Even though neither of us had a lot of experience in baking, they had turned out to be delicious.

_"Phil."_

Then I thought about the day when he had decided to surprise me at my apartment with flowers, knocking on my door when I was in the middle of listening and (awfully) singing along to my favourite album. He'd just laughed and joined in, dancing with me, and he'd taken one of the flowers from the bunch to hold between his teeth.

_"Phil."_

I remembered when he'd taken me to the movie theatre, and through the whole film we'd snuck secret kisses that we tried to make sure that no-one else witnessed. At the most dramatic moments of the film during the parts with the loudest music, we'd pecked each other's lips, smiles creeping onto our mouths at the odd sensation of being in a room full of people who were oblivious to your actions.

_"Phil!"_

Did none of that matter to him? How could he just lead me on like that? How could he honestly think it would be okay? Did he just plan on cheating on me - no, cheating with me - forever? Or had my finding out just been the premature unveiling of a secret that would have been spilled anyway? Did he always intend to reject and hurt me like this? How could he possibly not?

_"Phil! Earth to Phil!"_

I snapped out of my daydream, seeing a slightly impatient looking Chris standing in front of me. I knew from the annoyed expression on his face that I'd been daydreaming again. I didn't mean to, honestly, the memories just kept surfacing even when I tried to push them away.

"I'm sorry.." I hung my head, I had no excuse.

"This is the third time today. Are you sure you're alright?" Chris looked worried, which was a change from his usual jokey, edging on inappropriate personality.

"I'm fine! I don't see why you're so worried about me! Yes, it stings a little, but I know it's for the best. I mean, as much as I enjoyed his company, he's got someone else. Someone who he's happier with, someone who's going to be better for him, someone who he's certainly known for a lot longer. It wasn't even that long of a period in my life, it will be better for everyone if we just forget it happened and move on. There will be other things to make me happy, this sadness and missing him is only a temporary thing. It'll be better in the long run, you'll see." I nodded my head at the end to emphasise my point, but it was evident he didn't believe me at all.

"Who are you trying to convince, Phil? Me or yourself?" He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "'I'm not going to let you minimize this, Phil. It's no accident that you ran into each other and that you were so happy for those few weeks. And you're going to be happy for many, many more, no matter how much you pretend this doesn't mean anything. There are so many things wrong with what you just said. You enjoyed his company? _Enjoyed his company?_ You should have SEEN the way your face looked when you talked about him, Phil! I've never seen you look that happy before, ever. This was so much more than a quick fling you can just brush aside, and you know it. If you think that the hurting is going to go away within a few days, weeks, then you're just being a fool."

I said nothing, trying to hold up my pathetic argument and keep a brave face. Why did Chris always have to be right? No matter what he said though, I had to believe that I could let this go. Because what if Dan was gone forever? It was just a risk I couldn't take.

"Now, how many times has he called you?" Chris' question ended my internal debate.

"He hasn't! Why would he call me?"

"No, Phil, how many times has Dan called you?"

"Fourteen." I hung my head again.

"And you didn't pick any of them up?" He asked, although he meant it rhetorically. He knew very well what the answer was. "You can't do this to yourself, mate! He tried to explain to you. I'm sure that if you just let him say what he has to say then you'll find out it's all been a huge mistake. You'll get him back, I promise."

He was, of course, just trying to be helpful - even Chris couldn't make a promise like that. There was always a chance, in fact a large chance, that Dan actually did have a long-time girlfriend. However, Chris' words gave me that impossibly dangerous glimmer of hope, but with it, came fear. As it always did. And it was then that I broke down.

I pulled Chris into a hug, grateful for the shoulder to cry on, and burst into tears. People around the shop were staring oddly, but I didn't care.

"But Chris, what if she is his girlfriend?"

_He asked you out._

"What if he doesn't care about me?"

_He kissed you._

"What if I was his mistake?"

_He said that he loved you._

"I'm just scared, Chris! I'm scared to death! I'm so afraid to hope because if I am let down then I'll never be able to face a relationship again!"

"Come on, I'm gonna take you home." Chris seemed to understand perfectly. I suppose he's been through his fair share of breakups. And then, to our boss, "Brad, we need the afternoon off." Luckily, Brad was the understanding type, so he let us off without any questioning once he'd seen the miserable state of me.

"Thanks, Chris." I said quietly, my tears finally stopping. I wiped my eyes quickly and tried to regain my composure.

He just shook his head. "There's no need to thank me; your relationship is more than worth it."

* * *

**A/N: Yay, platonic AmazingStickz! (You didn't think I'd forgotten about Chris, did you?)**

**Good news: I went babysitting, and when I go babysitting I tend to write. So now I have chapter 8 and half of 9 written already, so you won't have to wait too long. Chapter 8 will be put up tomorrow or later tonight depending on which continent you live in, and Chapter 9 on Monday sometime. Or possibly Tuesday.**

**I don't really think the story has a very good title, but I won't change it because then people would get confused.**

**I love all of my reviewers, thanks a bunch :)**


	8. It's a Date

**Hi! Sorry this a day later than I said it'd be, fanfiction's notification system was down and I wanted to wait until it was working again so that you'd get the email. I don't think it was working when I put up chapter 7 - so if you haven't read that yet, make sure you check it out first :D**

* * *

Chris and I walked back to my apartment together in silence. A few times I thought he was going to say something, I'd hear the opening of his mouth or the muffled first syllable of a word, but he remained quiet - and so, I did too. In my gut, I knew he was right about Dan, just as he had been the first time, but there was no point building my hopes up just to be let down. I decided that the safest option was to keep an open mind, and just listen to what Dan had to say for himself before making any decisions.

As we arrived, the tension in the air cleared slightly, and I unlocked the door. We collapsed onto the apartment couch and half-heartedly smiled at each other.

"I think we should use this afternoon to forget about Dan for once. Let's just enjoy ourselves, listen to music, watch TV, eat some junk food. I really want to clear my head." I announced, breaking the uncomfortably long silence.

"That sounds perfect! We'll do whatever you feel like." After a moment's hesitation, he added, "There's just one thing I want to ask your first."

"Sure, you know I'd tell you anything... just ask away!" I responded, as puzzled as ever.

He blushed slightly. "Erm.. did you and Dan.. ever.. you know..." Large hand movements accompanied his question as if they could give me a clue to what he meant.

I sat confused for a minute before it dawned on me what he was talking about.

"Oh! I see.. uhm, no, no, we didn't." The situation had suddenly become extremely awkward.

"Okay. So, um, food?" He looked like a weight had been lifted off his chest and I wondered why he'd wanted to know so badly. Then again, it was probably just Chris being Chris.

"Yeah! Sounds great. I don't have a lot of food here, maybe we should order takeaway? How about Chi- no, pizza?"

"Sure thing!" Chris proceeded to ring up Pizza Hut while I decided to change into something more comfortable than my work uniform.

When I got back downstairs, Chris had the food set up as well as my favourite Buffy episode ready to watch. I smiled at him appreciatively and ran across to get a slice of pizza.

We drank soft drinks and ate a few pizzas, and after the episode was over we just chatted about random things like rabbit noises and the smell of cherries. After a while, surprisingly, I began to get quite tired. I accidentally let out a massive yawn which was promptly followed by a giggle.

"I think I might go to bed."

"It appears that would be a good idea," said Chris, struggling not to laugh at me. I only humphed at him in response, starting to walk upstairs.

"Oh, and Chris? Thanks a heap for this. It was just what I needed." He smiled at me.

"I know. Have a nice rest." And with that, I retreated to the world of sleep and dreams where your sort-of-boyfriend doesn't have an almost-fiancée.

**Chris' POV**

Once Phil had gone to bed, I decided that I should probably clean up the mess and then head home. I didn't know whether I was being too pushy on him or not, it was just that the connection between he and Dan had been one of the strongest connections between two people that I'd seen in a long time. Far too long, in fact.

As I was dispensing of the pizza box, I saw Phil's phone light up with an incoming call, and his ringtone begin to play. I didn't even need to look at the caller ID to know who it was, and I picked up without a moment's hesitation.

"Phil? Oh my god, Phil, I can't believe you finally picked up. Thank you so much, please please don't hang up I need to talk to you so badly." Dan sounded as if he was crying.

"Oh, uh, hello Dan. I'm really sorry, this isn't Phil, it's Chris - his friend from work? He's just gone to bed, but I'd be happy to pass on any messages you've got for him. Or, you know, just arrange a let's-sort-this-all-out meeting on his behalf."

"Oh!.. oh, I see, um, hi Chris." I could tell that he wasn't expecting to hear my voice, and his tone quickly changed as he tried to cover up his obvious crying. "Well... actually, that sounds really great. Could you tell Phil to meet me at my house tomorrow at five?"

"Of course I can! It's my pleasure. Well, I guess goodbye then, and best of luck."

"Thanks Chris. I really hope he comes, this is all such a mistake."

And with that, I hung up the phone, feeling extremely pleased with myself.

**Phil's POV**

Although I'd been pretty sleepy downstairs, it always seemed to work out that once I got into bed, I suddenly became quite a lot less tired. That was probably the reason why I was still lying in bed, still awake.

Then I heard Chris' footsteps approaching my door, which confused me. I thought he'd have left by now.. He entered my bedroom cautiously, attempting and failing to be quiet. He seemed relieved to see my still-open eyes watching him.

"Oh, good, you're awake."

"Yes.."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know that I'm heading off now. I've cleaned up all of the stuff, and also here's your phone, you left it downstairs." He handed me the familiar yellow-cased object, which I put on my bedside table.

"Thanks - and also, just generally, thanks for making me feel better."

"Great! Well, bye!" He turned to leave, walking out my door.

"See you at work." I replied.

And then, in typical Chris fashion, he stuck his head back around the door and added quite cheerfully, "Oh, yeah, you've got to meet Dan at his house at 5 tomorrow! Okay, bye!"

And then he left me alone again, bewildered. Honestly, I didn't know whether to be furious or grateful. Eventually I decided on the latter, and I drifted into a sleep filled with dreams of Dan.

* * *

**A/N: Really sorry that this one and the last one were such filler chapters, I promise a lot of stuff happens next chapter :P**

**I've also really been enjoying putting obscure references to things in the story, so if you noticed any in this chapter or in 7 then let me know in a review, I'm interested to see if people got them.**

**I don't like having to change POVs in the middle of a chapter when I'm writing but there was no way around this one, so meh.**

**Also, I'm making a promise to you that there will be NO future Dan-Phil-Chris love triangle. Promise.**

**I'm really glad that people thought it was a good plot twist, it means a lot because basically since I started this story I've been trying to come up with a good one that wasn't overused and didn't involve any hospital accidents. So thanks :)**


	9. The Confession

**Welcome to chapter 9, aka the chapter where everything happens. Hey, I even finally stopped procrastinating on that cover that I mentioned in chapter 5! Also, you may have noticed that I changed the rating to M... need I say more?**

* * *

_4:25_

I paced nervously around my living room, it was still too early to leave. I didn't want to be early, but simply due to my nerves I'd been ready to go since 4. These passing minutes were torture, I couldn't do anything but sit staring at the clock, intently watching each second tick by.

_4:35_

I'd double checked my hair, face and outfit at least 20 times by now. It was stupid, I shouldn't be nervous about this. However no matter what I told myself, I was more nervous than I could remember being for a long time. Because this boy meant more to me than I could ever say.

_4:45_

It was finally time for me to start walking to Dan's in order to make it there by 5. My body was filled with jittery nerves, and as much as I was hoping that whatever explanation he provided would be okay, I was still quite aware of the possibility that it was what it looked like. Thinking of his sent the bouncy, jittery energy from my body and was replaced with a strong, powerful feelings - the feeling of control - that if Ciara did turn out to be Dan's long term girlfriend then I could say no. I could turn him down, and find someone else who could be trusted. It gave me an odd sort of adrenaline rush.

I buzzed the doorbell, and was shortly after let in by Dan. And and by shortly, I meant so soon that there was no explanation other than that he'd been waiting by the bell for it to ring. The thought brought a small smile to my face.

All too soon, I was sitting on the couch across from Dan, who looked slightly nervous, slightly scared, but mostly guilty. "Um, hi." He said. I hadn't heard his voice in a little while, and it made me realise whatever he was about it attempt to explain to me. Damn his brown eyes. Damn his cute fringe. Damn his adorable smile. Damn him sitting there, doing absolutely nothing yet still managing to look a million times better than in my thoughts, and to almost cause me to forgive him right then and there purely because of the look on his face. Almost. I had to hear him out.

"Hi Dan." My voice was still guarded, despite the sight of him affecting me more than I had planned. "You've got some explaining to do, so please just get on with it."

He nodded. "Just... listen, okay? Please don't interrupt me, just let me finish. This is going to be long and I would have told you it's just that it's really hard to find the right time to say these sorts of things. So, um, basically, Phil, my parents - _especially_ my mum - are the most homophobic people I have ever met in my life. Which is saying something. All throughout my childhood, I was bombarded with one-sided opinions and people hammering into my head that it's _never, ever_ okay to love someone who's the same gender as you. And so, as you can probably imagine, when I began to realise that I was attracted to men, I felt like I had done something wrong. I spent far too much of my life hating myself and trying to change what was beyond my control. It was only when I spent some time on the internet and began to find people and things that didn't have to pass my mother's standard of 'allowable' that I started to realise that I didn't need to be ashamed of who I was. That it was a good thing, just as good and viable as any other sexuality, and it was okay. As happy as I was to finally stop hating myself, I knew that I still had to keep it from my parents. And so, in Year 10 I paid my friend Ciara in Pez to pretend to be my girlfriend so that my mum wouldn't suspect anything. She was the first person I told. And that worked, it worked really well! So I decided to stick with letting my mum believe that little lie in order to be able to live my life how I wanted to. And then, Phil, then I met you. And all of a sudden there was someone in real life who was just like me, in fact someone who liked me, and you mean more to me than words can even describe. I just really, really love you, a lot, and when I thought I was going to lose you I completely broke. You had to find out in the absolute worst way possible, and over these past few days I've been hating myself over it, hating that you had to find out from her. And I understand if you want to leave and never see me again, but Phil, I just love you so much and I'm begging you, will you stay?"

By this point, Dan had tears streaming down his face, and I was surprised to find that my own eyes were welling up. There were no words that I could use at that moment in time to summarise all the worlds of emotions that I was feeling, so instead I just stood up and walked over to hug him. But what I'd planned as a hug somehow resulted in me sitting on top of him and crashing our lips together with more urgency, passion and need than every other time combined.

His hands quickly found their way around me, tugging at the unwanted fabric of my shirt, rediscovering the feeling of the individual contours and shapes of my back beneath his fingers. We broke the kiss for a second to discard our shirts, immediately resuming it with the same, if not more, intensity. I grabbed his hair in my fingers and pressed our lips even closer together, if that was possible.

Our bodies seemed to mould together as if we were always destined to be with each other. I sucked gently at Dan's bottom lip, hungry for more. He let out a soft moan, barely audible, that I might not have heard if I hadn't been able to feel it through his lips. I pushed my tongue into his mouth, eagerly tasting him. Soon after, his tongue mirrored the actions of mine, and they entwined together.

After some time - I had no way of telling how long - of kissing Dan, I felt the bulge in my jeans steadily growing until it was almost unbearable. And judging by the way that Dan just uttered "bedroom" into my ear, he had the same problem. I went to stand up to change locations, but Dan beat me to it by lifting me up and carrying me to his bedroom, dumping me down on the sheets before climbing on top of me. Somehow we'd switched positions, and I wasn't sure whether I liked having Dan in control.

He kissed me again for just a moment before moving his mouth to place soft kisses up my jawline and down my neck. He paused to leave a mark on my neck, the sensation of him nibbling and sucking at the soft flesh almost getting too much for me. I moaned, slightly thrusting up my hips. After he was satisfied with his handiwork and continued to kiss down my body, I contemplated that I did rather like having Dan in control. In fact, I liked it a lot. When he reached my nipples, he softly bit at them, eliciting yet another of my moans. He flicked his tongue across the right one, causing me to gasp unexpectedly.

He lifted his gaze to meet mine, his eyes now a darker, more intense shade of brown. Looking into his lust-filled eyes made my heart flutter, and he grinned at me before moving further south.

"I think these jeans need to come off, don't you?" he purred. All that I could suffice was a nod and meek whimper, causing him to chuckle slightly. He unzipped the jeans in question, and pulled them off excruciatingly slowly, enjoying this teasing far too much. He quickly removed his own jeans before climbing back onto the bed and beginning to palm me through my boxers.

"Dan!" I gasped, desperate for him to push harder, wanting as much contact as possible. It didn't take long before Dan had moved so that he was directly on top of me, ghosting his lips up my chest as he did. He was kissing me again, and he'd begun to grind his own erection against mine rather than his hand. I grabbed his ass with my hands, creating even more wonderful friction between us. Now it was his turn to gasp my name, the new position of my hands having surprised him.

"Phil! Ah.. I-I like it when you touch me there..." he seemed almost embarrassed, but it just made me grin.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do just that?" I whispered into his ear, firmly re-attaching his lips to mine. I once again pushed my tongue inside his mouth, exploring every part. I ran my hands up his back and shoulders, moving them over his chest, around his waist, back to his ass. I wanted as much contact with him as possible, I loved the feeling of his exposed skin. We continued to kiss and grind, however it wasn't too long before I wanted - _needed_ - more.

"Dan.. I need you.." I whimpered beneath him.

"What do you need, exactly? I think you're going to have to be a little more specific.." he huskily whispered against my skin, making me even more turned on - if that was possible.

"Fuck! Yes, Dan, I need you inside me! Please..."

"Mmmm, that's better. I want you to be screaming my name, alright?" He kissed me, hard, for just a few seconds before disposing of our boxers and reaching his hand under the pillow to retrieve a bottle of lube.

"H-how did you... were you planning this, Dan?" It surprised me a little that he had the bottle in such a convenient location. But he just smirked at me and winked.

"I think you underestimate me." He proceeded to squeeze a small amount out of the bottle and rub it around in his fingers. He leant down to kiss me again, and at the same time, inserted the first digit into me. He had caught me off guard, earning a gasp and a throaty moan. I was used to being a top, and this incredible new sensual experience was one that I liked. A lot. Or maybe it was just Dan.

"Do you like that?" he smirked again. All that I could manage in response was a moan. He added another finger, and then a third, scissoring and twisting them inside me. My hips involuntarily bucked up in pleasure as my moans became constant.

"Please, Dan.." I whispered, his fingers no longer enough to satisfy my desire. I fully expected him to continue teasing me, but apparently he wanted this too much to hold off any longer than necessary. Quickly, Dan coated his cock in lube and positioned it at my entrance.

"Are you ready, Phil? You're sure you want to do this?"

"Ah, Dan, I'm so ready.. I want this so much.. please don't make me wait any longer!"

He seemed happy enough at my response, because a few seconds later I felt him push his cock into the hole that had been occupied just before by his fingers. At first it was painful, a good sort of painful, but that quickly made way for immense feelings of pleasure.

"D-Dan.. it feels so good.."

"Fuck, Phil, you're so tight, you feel amazing."

I wrapped my legs around him, desperate for him to find the right angle to hit my prostate. After a few thrusts in different places, he did. I cried out in absolute bliss, my back arching and my body filling with an amazing sensation. "There, please.." I managed to say, although he would have been able to tell that he'd got the right angle just from my physical reactions.

Dan and I continued to move together, our bodies perfectly in sync as we both approached our climaxes. I thrusted up into him as he thrusted down, my mouth slightly open as I revelled in the sensation. As I neared closer and closer to my orgasm I attempted to scream his name in pleasure, however due to the intense hormones flooding through my brain, it came out a long string of incoherent words.

"Dan!" I managed to scream, soon releasing my load onto our chests. For the short time that it lasted, my body was in utter euphoria. I was filled with a buzz of adrenaline & energy and my breathing was quick and erratic. Every single sense was in an overload of bliss. The muscles in my body clenched, and I screwed up my face in enjoyment. I was seeing stars.

"Fuck, Phil! I think I'm gonna-" he was interrupted by his own moan. He thrusted into me a few more times before emptying himself, still inside me. "You look so fucking beautiful.." he groaned, panting as the height of our combined pleasure subsided.

He gingerly pulled out and broadly smiled at me, his expression most likely reflecting the stupid smile on my own face. Our lips joined in a now lazy, messy kiss, too tired to put much effort into it after.. well.. _that_. Dan was no longer on top of me, and we lay side by side on the bed, facing each other and eyes never breaking contact, brown gazing into blue and blue gazing into brown.

"Phil.. I love you. I love you so much." Dan breathed, a look of utmost sincerity on his face.

"I love you too. I love you indescribably. You make me happy in ways that even my best friends can't, you're sweet, kind, confident, attractive, romantic and flirty somehow all at the same time and I never thought in a million years that I'd meet someone as wonderful as you. I love you, Dan." I shut my eyes in contentment as I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close to me and breathing in his comforting scent.

We lay there in each others' arms for what felt like forever, nothing able to harm us in that moment of perfection. For then, nothing existed of the world apart from the other human being that we could see, feel, hear, breathe, in front of us.

* * *

**I feel awkward now. I hope you all didn't hate it, but I did get it checked by about four people first. Yep.**


	10. I Am His and He Is Mine

I walked into work; it was Monday again all too soon. Sometimes weekends just felt much too short. Before re-entering the monotonous cycle of my job, I made sure that the simple uniform I was required to wear looked okay. I smoothed the collar of the short-sleeved black shirt and straightened my name tag (which, after a long debate with the manager, read 'Phil' rather than 'Philip'). Going into work today was the first time since Friday that I'd really taken notice of anything in the world apart from Dan, and I was sorely reminded that Chris would be here, expecting answers. I smiled at the friend in question when I saw him putting away an unwanted item of clothing. He immediately rushed over to me, and just by the expression on his face I could tell that he was going to demand to know the whole story.

"Hi Phil!" He cheerily greeted me. "So, how's it going with you-know-who?"

"Good." I replied, still unsure of how much I wanted to tell him. There was somehow a certain thrill that came with knowing that Dan and I were the only two people on the planet who knew what we'd done together. And then I remembered that if it wasn't for Chris, we probably wouldn't even have those memories to own. "No, scratch that, Chris, it's fantastic." A soft smile crept onto my face.

"That's great! And although I know you're probably going to say that it's a personal secret, I still want to know what he said to change your mind so dramatically. So, insert space here in which you can say that.. or not." There was a silence in which I remained quiet, to tell him would be going a step too far. Quite a few steps, in fact. "That's fine, that's fine. Now, um, I just wanted to apologise for asking that question the other day.. I can appreciate you probably think I'm weird now.."

_"Erm.. did you and Dan.. ever.. you know..."_

_"Oh! I see.. uhm, no, no, we didn't."_

When I realised what he was talking about I blushed a deep shade of crimson. If he asked that question again now, my answer would be quite different. Not knowing how to respond, I nervously giggled and tried to cover up my hot cheeks.

Chris looked at me skeptically. "Why the blush? What's happened..."

"Err.. nothing, nothing at all Chris!" I responded, a little too fast and a little too high pitched.

Chris didn't say anything else, but I could tell from his expression and slight chuckle that he'd guessed exactly what had happened between Dan and I when I'd gone to his house. I honestly hadn't planned on it happening, though, I was just so overwhelmed with emotion and bottled up feelings that I'd had to express them somehow. And, well, it had been pretty great. I blushed again at the memory.

* * *

_We lay together wrapped around each other, the lines of where one ended and the other began becoming blurry and insignificant._

_"Hey, Phil?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Do you want to spend the night?"_

_"I'd like that a lot."_

_And so, we drifted off together into one of the best sleeps either of us had had in a while. Our dreams were filled with each other and hope for what our relationship, whatever it was, might entail in the future, and what we might come to be._

_When we woke up, we were in a similar position to the one we'd fallen asleep in, however now somehow we'd switched sides of the bed. I woke a few minutes before Dan did, taking the opportunity to study how beautiful he looked when he slept. His hair was messy from last night and a few strands stuck up at odd angles, which I couldn't help but straighten out for him. I kissed his forehead gently, not wanting to wake him. He looked so peaceful and serene, and to wake him seemed selfish. Although, of course, the small amount of contact when my lips touched his head was enough to bring him back to the world. He made a small noise of protest as he came to which sounded roughly like "nggggghh"._

_"Phil, why am I awake? What time is it?" he groaned groggily._

_I giggled at him before answering. "I don't know what time it is, I haven't been awake for that long. You know, you're cute when you're sleeping."_

_"Well, good, because I'm going to be doing that some more." he uttered, half-smiling at me before adjusting his position and snuggling deeper into my arms._

_I smoothed his hair and gently kissed him again, before whispering, "I love you, Dan."_

_"Mmmve you too." Dan quietly murmured, soon falling again into unconsciousness._

* * *

As well as having a lot of fun together over the weekend, we'd decided that we needed to talk more about our families, our history, and anything else that might potentially cause problems in light of what had happened. I was, admittedly, a little annoyed at Dan for not having mentioned the whole affair with Ciara to me before it caused problems, but then I guess he never could have anticipated that I'd be talking to his mum.

Aside from what I already knew about Dan from his somewhat rushed explanation, he told me about his brother, friends, school and life before moving out. In turn, I told him about mine, and also about my coming out to my family - luckily they'd been more accepting than Dan's. We talked for much longer than I'd anticipated that we could about our past, and I learned a lot - not just about Dan, but about how important it was to a relationship to talk - which we hadn't really done at all since our first date. Speaking of such, we'd finally made the decision to formally be boyfriends. I was his and he was mine. It felt surprisingly good to be someone's boyfriend, and it gave me a new sense of belonging and security that I'd never really considered before.

Of course, after so much important, serious talk, we had to have a bit of fun. So we decided to host a 'party'. And by that, I mean that we ordered a pinata, bought lots of candy and crisps, set up a pin-the-tail on the donkey, bobbed for apples and finished off the evening with musical statues. There was something awfully attractive about letting go of adult responsibilities and pretending you were small again, with nothing to care or worry about except from what you were doing and who you were doing it with.

Dan managed to almost hit me in the head with the bat we were using to hit the pinata, and I managed to give the donkey a tail to the eye, and both of us failed to pick up any apples due to our constant laughter and smiles. Musical statues was an all-around failure; because of not thinking it through properly we had to choose between playing together and having nobody to stop the music, or only one of us dancing at a time. Somehow, it was still the most fun thing in the world, and I don't ever remember having laughed so much for a long time.

* * *

_"Dan! Look! There's only one jelly snake left and it's for meeee!"_

_"Nooo, I'm gonna eat it!"_

_"No you're not!"_

_Both of us rushed to the bowl and ended up grabbing one end each. Both of us refused to let go, and we secretly smiled, realising at the same time what was going to end up happening. Silently, we each took an end of the snake in our mouths. We ate our own respective ends of the snake, drawing us closer together, until our foreheads were touching._

_Perhaps to Dan's surprise, it was me who closed the final distance between our lips and kissed him abruptly, the taste of the sugar mingling with that of each others mouths. Dan rested his hands on my hips and I quickly moved mine to the sides of his face. It sent a tingle through my body, just like every other time. I could feel the soft skin of his cheeks beneath my hands, and lightly rubbed my thumb in circles, feeling him, experiencing him. There was somehow a switch that turned off my perception of anything other than Dan that automatically seemed to turn on whenever he was touching or even just interacting with me. Like he was literally my everything. And perhaps unsurprisingly, I was okay with that. More than okay._

_After some time he abruptly broke the kiss and whispered cheekily, "There's one tail left. Race you to the donkey."_

* * *

At risk of sounding incredibly naive, the problem and the discussion needed to resolve it might just have been one of the best things for our relationship, and after it we were so much stronger.

* * *

**Thanks so much for all the positive feedback on the last chapter! I was quite nervous about uploading it but it seems as though you guys liked it, so, thanks heaps. There's going to be three more chapters (13 will be the last one) and then it will be over! I feel like this story's coming to a close, and besides, I have a lot of other things that I want to write too.**

**Thanks for reading, please leave a review if you can spare 30 seconds ^_^**


	11. Almost

I was still in the middle of my daydream about my wonderful _boyfriend_ when I realised that I should get some work done. That was why I was here, after all. So I began to walk around the shops, scouring the shelves for items that people had just dumped anywhere after deciding against buying them. It seems as though Chris had taken on that job this morning though, because I couldn't see anything that needed putting away. I gave up the search and looked around for anyone that needed helping. I could see a woman walking through the kids section looking a little lost, so I went to help her.

"Hi, do you need anything?" I asked in my most customer-friendly voice.

"Well, yes, yes, I do. You see, I'm looking for a dress for my daughter. She refused to come with me to try it on, but she insisted that it must be pink. Do you have any pink dresses? I'm having trouble locating one." I chuckled to myself at the thought of a small girl demanding a pink dress but not even wanting to try it on, then thought better of it. It was probably quite hard work being a mother.

"We've got a couple, I think," I said, leading her over to a display, "this one here is sparkly, and this one has a love heart on the front."

"Oh, I think she'll want the one with the heart." The woman spoke with almost no hesitation, taking me slightly by surprise. That she knew her daughter so well that she didn't even need to consider the options.

I helped the lady find the right size, and directed her over to the cashier. I thought for a moment about what her daughter must be like. What it would be like to have a daughter... but of course, if I did, that would be well into the future.

"Hello." I heard a suspiciously familiar voice behind me, and turned around to see none other than Dan.

"Dan! What are you doing here? I'm working..." I protested, although my discontent was obviously false.

"I'm asking you if you want to come and get a coffee with me!" He smiled broadly as if it was the greatest achievement in the world.

"Now?"

"Yeah!"

"Dan, I can't just leave work... I have lunch break in half an hour, shall I meet you at Starbucks then?"

"Yep." He nodded and then left again abruptly. It had been a little weird, but then again one of the reasons I loved Dan was because of his spontaneity.

When my lunch break finally came around, I walked to the Starbucks and looked around for Dan. I quickly spotted him sitting at a table, but he hadn't got any coffees yet.

"Hey Dan!" I said, walking over to him.

"Hi Phil!"

"Shall I get us some coffees?"

"Probably." He smirked slightly.

I went up to the counter to order the coffees, and when I returned with them, Dan looked deep in thought.

"You alright?" I asked him.

"What? Oh, uh, yeah. Thanks for getting the drinks. So, how has your day been? I mean, apart from seeing me, what other great things have happened?"

I couldn't help but laugh at his words, he always managed to make things funny. I told him about the woman and her high-maintenance daughter, and the thoughts I'd briefly had about having children in the future.

"Oh, yeah, because having kids sounds like so much fun. If I ever do, it will be well into the future. I mean, me? Be responsible for the life of another human being? I don't think so.."

I didn't know what had come over me as I whispered, "I'd want to have kids with you someday." His face twisted into a wry smile and he reached his right hand under the table and rested it on my knee.

"You know I'm only kidding, right?" He said, much more softly. We gazed into each others' eyes and didn't say anything for a while, but our small moment was broken when Dan abruptly sat up straight, yawning and stretching. "I'm done, take my cup the bin."

I thought he was kidding, so I replied, "Well only if you take mine."

But his face briefly flashed with annoyance, and he said, "No, take my cup!"

Not wanting to cause trouble or question why Dan suddenly didn't seem like himself, I took both of our empty coffee cups to the bin and sat back down.

"You should get back to work, besides, I have some stuff I need to do." Dan sighed.

"Okay... am I still coming around to yours this afternoon?" I said, hesitantly.

"Yeah! Awesome! Actually.. my place is a mess, can I come to yours?"

"Of course - I'll see you after work then." I smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek quickly before leaving the shop and walking back to work. I hoped nothing was the matter.

The rest of the day at work carried out pretty typically, and when it was over I was excited as always to be spending time with Dan. I arrived at my apartment only a few minutes before he did. We didn't really bother with greeting each other, it just didn't feel necessary.

"Want to play some video games?" I asked.

"Love to! Which one?"

"Hmm.. how about Sonic?" I suggested, half jokingly, remembering our first date.

"Sounds perfect."

After the two player mode became boring, we took it in turns to get as far as we could, which was possibly even more fun than playing together due to Dan's frequent complaints about my 'skills' (or lack thereof). Of course, when he was playing, there was really nothing to complain about. I just had to face that Dan was a lot better than me at Sonic.

"Phil, do you even know how a controller works? Go forward, you twat."

I laughed at him and tried to keep my concentration on the game I was playing, causing me to die once again.

"You're so bad at this it's not funny anymore... give me the controller, let me show you."

"No fair! Just because you're better than me doesn't mean that you get all the turns!"

Dan, obviously choosing to ignore what I'd said, reached across to me and grabbed the controller out of my hands. He kept his focus on the game, managing to get a lot further than I had.

"Dan, what did you do that for?" He just shrugged. "Stop playing now, I want hugs."

I saw him start to smile, and he put away the controller to wrap his arms around me and pull me so that I was sitting on top of him. He pulled me as close as he could and nestled his head into my shoulder. Cuddles with Dan were always the best cuddles because he loved it as much as I did. I relaxed into the moment and concentrated on each individual sense. The touch of him against me was amazing, as it always was. There was something inexplicable about the feel of his skin that sent slight shivers up my spine - good ones. The only sound that I could hear under the peaceful silence was that of Dan's soft breathing, calm and even. I could smell Dan's familiar scent, which always relaxed me. I couldn't exactly describe what he smelled like, whenever I tried to use words to describe it I just ended up saying that he smelled like _Dan_. Mostly during our hugs, at least the longer ones like this one, I'd close my eyes and let myself be immersed in the moment. I moved my head away from his shoulder and kissed him softly, on his lips, his cheeks, his forehead, his nose, any reachable space of exposed skin. His eyes remained closed, the brown strands of his fringe slightly falling in front of his face.

"Dan, you're beautiful." I broke the silence, wanting to voice my thoughts.

"Mm tired. Can we have a nap? Can you stay here?"

"Okay." I murmured, snuggling into my boyfriend, feeling sleepier by the second. That was the best kind of sleep. When we'd drift off slowly in the others arms, and wake up still entwined not really wanting to move. I could almost forget Dan's somewhat absurd outbursts. Almost.

* * *

**Thanks so so much for all of the kind reviews you guys left on the last chapter, they made me grin uncontrollably and I love hearing that you like it :3 Whenever I'm feeling down I just go and read them and it makes me feel better xxx.**

**Only two more chapters after this :O**

**(Also, I'm having a mini-happy dance right now because this story just reached 1000 viewers! Thanks for reading :D :D :D)**


	12. Rent

When we woke up, it might have been the next hour or the next morning or the next afternoon, he smiled at me with that smile that he saved for when he was truly happy. His gorgeous eyes were smiling as much as his mouth was, and he looked like a little kid with an ice cream.

I was still too sleepy to form coherent words, so instead I tilted my head up slightly and kissed him. When our lips met it felt as if they had always been made to fit together. Dan smiled into the kiss and wrapped one hand around the back of my neck, shifting so that he was at a better angle and increasing the pressure of our lips against the other's.

Not really being sure of who initiated it, our tongues met somewhere halfway each asking for entry which was immediately granted. As he deepened the kiss and melted into me, the electric buzz running through my veins intensified. When we eventually pulled away, the one long kiss was replaced by a series of short ones that eventually sort of melted into one anyway. I felt Dan's fingers tangle in my hair as he searched for a way to make the space between us even smaller, if that was possible. When the feeling of arousal began to grow, I pulled away from him.

"Breakfast?" I suggested, a hint of mischief in my voice.

"Nggggh." Dan grumbled. "Okay, but I don't see why we couldn't have continued that.."

"Because it's.." I paused, checking my watch. "oh. Because it's 11pm?" I tried to hold my composure, but giggles began to creep out and I could see the same happening to Dan - although he wasn't holding back his amusement.

"And.. you wanted breakfast? At 11pm?" He managed to say through his chuckles.

"No! Dinner then.. dessert.. supper.. I don't know, but I"m hungry!" I stuck out my lower lip and climbed off the couch.

I walked over to the cupboards and looked through the food that I had, frustrated to find that there didn't seem to be anything good to eat. Forgetting to shut the cupboard doors I opened the fridge and searched the shelves in disappointment. Suddenly I thought back to the first time I'd brought Dan here, to my apartment. It felt like such a long time ago, and our awkwardness and shyness seemed almost trivial now.

"There's nothing I want to eat.." I complained half heartedly. Suddenly I grabbed an egg out the carton and held it up so that Dan could see it, but still facing away from him. "But _you_ might like to try thi- AAH!" I screamed in shock as I unexpectedly felt Dan tickle me from behind, causing me to drop the egg.

I turned around to see a somewhat triumphant looking Dan smirking at me. "Dan, you made me drop the egg, you have to clean it up.." I sighed, but I wasn't really mad.

"No, you do it. Your egg, your mess." He nodded simply as if the solution to every problem was as simple as that.

"At least help me..." I could hear a hint of indignation in my voice, but I began to clean up the mess of the egg, grabbing a roll of paper towel.

It seemed as though he ignored my request for help, because he walked off towards my bathroom saying, "I'm going to take a shower, see you soon."

Dan got back a little while later to find me sitting silently on the sofa deep in thought. The egg had long since been cleaned up.

"Phil.. it's oddly quiet, is everything alright?" He seemed concerned, but there was a guarded edge to his voice that I didn't recognise.

I sighed and patted the space beside me. "Dan, I might just be really paranoid, but is everything okay with you? I feel like recently you've been a little bit rude or getting angry unnecessarily and maybe it's just me but you know we said we'd talk about these things and you're not and I don't know what to do because this is exactly what I didn't want to happen..." I trailed off, realising I was rambling. When I looked up at Dan he seemed reluctant and worried.

"You're right, there is something." He sighed, sitting down on the space I'd patted and absent-mindedly reaching out a hand to hold for comfort. He hesitated as long as he possibly could before opening his mouth again. "Phil.. I.. I can't pay my rent." He looked down, not meeting my gaze. "They're going to kick me out." his voice had turned quiet, almost to a whisper, and there was now no mistaking the fear in his voice.

As much as I realised Dan was worrying over this, it hardly seemed a problem in my mind. In fact, it could even be a blessing in disguise! The solution to the problem was immediately obvious to me, and it seemed so coincidentally wonderful that I accidently let out a few chuckles.

"Phil, why are you laughing? This is serious!" He was clearly hurt.

"Dan, you really are such a twat sometimes.. don't you realise? You can just live here! You practically do, anyway. I mean, if you want to."

"Do you really mean that? Thankyou so much! I promise it won't be for too long, I'll be out of your way as soon as I find somewhere cheaper."

"No, idiot. I want you to move in with me. Like, permanently."

Dan looked at me without saying anything, and I could see his eyes shining with tears - of joy, I hoped. He pulled me into a tight embrace which despite being full of love only lasted a few seconds. We pulled back and looked into each others eyes, slightly lost for words. Our faces stretched into smiles as we realised the enormity of the decision we has just made. There was nothing to be said to describe what we were thinking, and our grins slowly turned into giggles. It was exciting just to _contemplate_ what it would be like living with Dan.

"Do you want me to come over and help you pack up your stuff?" It was me who finally spoke.

Dan just nodded in response, the stupid grin still plastered on his face.


	13. Forever

At risk of making my entire life sound like a horrible cheesy romantic movie, it was going pretty perfectly. It had been a few weeks now since Dan had moved into my apartment with me, and it had definitely been one of the best decisions I'd made. Living with Dan was wonderful. He was there, all the time.

Possibly my favourite part was getting to wake up next to him every morning. When I woke up, Dan was usually in his sleepy half-awake state of his that usually took up a few hours of his morning. He was asleep enough that he looked incredibly adorable, yet awake enough for cuddles and little kisses. Sometimes it was all I could do to stop myself from jumping on top of him right then and there, he looked that cute. Dan didn't think he was a morning person but the mornings were when I loved him the most.

Of course, I'm not saying it had all been easy. Of course there were sometimes disagreements, and little things that caused issues, or problems that we had to talk out, but it just didn't seem to be a problem in the bigger scheme of things. There had also been a lot of changes, for instance now we always ate our meals together, and of course we were sharing in general a lot of stuff - I think at some point our joint wardrobes slowly morphed into one larger collection of clothes.

Just being around him all the time was simply.. exhilarating. Spending time with Dan made me so inexplicable happy, and slowly we were becoming not only lovers, but the best of friends. We could almost finish each other's sentences. I suppose that's the point of the word boy_friend_.

But perhaps my favourite thing about it was the hugs. The feeling of his arms wrapped around me holding me to him pretty much triumphed everything else, even the kisses. It made me feel safe, and special, and needed. It was literally as if I was being enveloped in perfection and beauty. The way his arms were strong and yet so gentle, closing around me so that his hands came to rest upon my sides. The way his head seemed to fit perfectly into my shoulder, and mine fit into his. The way his soft brown hair would brush against my face, his fringe tickling me slightly. The way I wouldn't be able to hold back a slight giggle at the feel of it, and for once I didn't care that my tongue poked out. The way that I'd feel him smile into my neck as he felt the vibrations of my laugh, and then we'd both smile and just stand there probably looking like idiots, but we didn't care. Because it was just us, and we were all the other needed.

Dan liked to cook more than I did; since he'd moved in my diet had contained a lot less takeaway food - which was definitely another upside. And sometimes when he was cooking he'd forget that I didn't like cheese and present to me something that I knew I couldn't enjoy. Sometimes I'd tell him, and sometimes I wouldn't and I'd have to pretend like it tasted good. But more often, he'd cook up something fantastic that was better than any pizza place and we'd eat it and smile and I'd tell him what a great cook he was and everything would be perfect.

There was always the thought that us being so close and so dependent on each other wasn't necessarily a good thing, that we should focus less on each other and more on the rest of the world. That being so happy would only lead to problems. But we made each other so much stronger, and we were willing to take on anything that might try to take away what we had.

Anyway, most potential problems we managed to turn into jokes. Just the other day, Dan had been doing a bit of cleaning and had discovered some old takeaway boxes under the couch. It appeared to have once been Chinese. He had been absolutely disgusted to find a chicken wing furry with mold, causing an unbearable stench. Instead of getting angry for being careless, we just laughed about it and soon managed to see that there was something quite funny about an extremely furry chicken wing.

Dan had managed to find himself a job at Starbucks, and despite his constant complaints about the large amounts of human interaction it involved, I could tell he was enjoying it. Besides, the slight employee discount was great for our not-so-infrequent outings there.

Even though we now lived together, we still went on dates. Bowling, cinema, dinner or just the swimming pool - every one of them was amazing, and were somehow a lot more special than just spending time together at home. It gave us something new and fresh, something to look forward to. Kept things exciting. My favourite date was definitely the concert we'd gone to together - the notes of the songs we'd heard so many times being played live for our ears, laughing and grabbing each others' hands as we tried to push as close to the stage as possible.

And from the mornings when he was sleepily wrapped up in me, to the afternoons when he was swearing as we played video games, to the nights when he was panting beneath me, his face scrunched up in pleasure for only me to see, I loved him. He was the one that made me realise that good things _did_ happen to people like me, all it took was a little bit of courage and perhaps a little bit of luck.

My name is Phil Lester, and I am taking life day by day, because sometimes unexpected things happen that can turn your life around. I'm a 26 year old man who lives with his boyfriend Dan Howell in London. I may not have other things, but I have Dan, who I love more than I can put into words - which is probably why I'm here, signing the receipt for a shiny silver engagement ring.

* * *

**It's the end! *cries and hugs you all* a multitude of thanks to everyone who enjoyed this story, and especially if you reviewed it! Shout out to my regular reviewers, lostinparadise7, NeverlandNat, Malteser24, AmazingAmberIsNotOnFire, NinjasInTheSky, RikkuPollendina and Lili32. Also a huge shoutout to silencelikeawhisper who's translating this whole story into Russian so that more people can experience it (also I happened to notice that the next one you're working on is 9... sorry if it's really awkward for you to translate hahaha).**

**I'll be taking a little break from writing because I've got exams in the next two weeks, but I have a lot planned so there will definitely be more after I return from the gloomy world of studying.. *sigh*. In the meantime, I'd love it if you'd check out my other fics xD**

**I included a lot of references to other things in the story and I don't really know if anyone picked up on them (let me know if you did :D), so I'm going to list a couple of my favourite ones here:**

**- "****_I'm not going to let you minimize this, Phil. It's no accident that you ran into each other and that you were so happy for those few weeks. And you're going to be happy for many, many more, no matter how much you pretend this doesn't mean anything." _****this is from chapter 7, Chris says it to Phil, but it's actually a rewritten version of what Blaine says to Kurt in 4.14 in the hotel room.. hehe glee reference.**

**- In chapter 8, Phil asks Chris to order pizza from Pizza Hut. This is meant to be a reference to that one tweet from Phil that said "cheating on Dominoes with Pizza Hut" to imply that he still felt cheated and he felt slightly guilty about the whole thing too.**


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